yea i'm just ranting, don't mind me

so the second time (today) i send my boyfriend a letter in the mail.. he calls me

apperently i was thinking wrong.. his house phone got shut off.. and he didnt make enough $ to pay for his cellphone bill( he made only $30.. his bill is $90), which he said was really hard for him.. and when he asked his friend to borrow his cellphone, his friend flipped out and yelled at my boyfriend.. or i would of hanged out with him >.<

but i asked my boyfriend if we could hangout friday after school.. grrrr.. he only said "maybe" because he doesnt know what will come up.. like if he has something important for work or shit..

but i totally forgot to ask if he got that $720 for a check he got for leaving foster care.. and i also forgot to mention " well last time you said you would maybe meet me you didnt"

so most likely... he wont meet me because of what i forgot to mention.. fuckkkkk =(

i hate myself -.-

but i know when friday comes i'm going to get sooo excited and leave school on the first floor, and run outside to see if my boyfriend is there expecting him to be there, but then again.. he wont be there -.-

wow, and you're what... 16 and you're making urslef go throughh alll of this?
I think you need to slow things down for yourself, just take one step at a time.
And not get jumbled with all the problems, just solve each one, one at a time.
Don't lose yourself through all of this mess with your boyfriend, you are Amanda and you can get through it. =]

awww thanks

yea, it is probably better to solve one problem at a time better than trying to solve 4 at a time like i have been doing, thanks for the advice =)